Navigating loneliness in the law

The culture of individual success, perfectionism and competitiveness, and maintaining a confident persona for clients and colleagues alike have efficiency value, but these same qualities can lead to both loneliness and burnout.

This is not a new phenomenon, but one that remains prevalent. Lawyers across the world are in the same boat. According to a 2021 International Bar Association (IBA) report, one in three lawyers in 124 jurisdictions across the world say their work has a negative or extremely negative impact on their wellbeing.

“In my experience as a lawyer, loneliness can be a problem when dealing with difficult stressful matters. As a lawyer, we owe a duty of confidentiality to our clients so it’s very important to have in place processes for solicitors to be able to debrief after a stressful day in court and discuss stressful matters within the confidentiality of the firm and with senior colleagues within the firm in a supportive and non-judgemental manner where possible,” says Michelle Meares.

Meares is a barrister at 2 Selborne and President of NSW Regional Women Lawyers. Until 2023, she was the owner and principal lawyer of Central Coast firm Meares Law, practicing primarily in family law and plaintiff litigation.

She tells LSJ Online, “I found loneliness was more of an issue when I was dealing with emotionally stressful matters and felt unsupported in my workplace.”

With experience as both a lawyer, business owner, and a barrister, Meares identifies the comparatively lonelier environment that lawyers face.

“I’m now in Chambers with other barristers and self-employed. At the bar, there is an open-door policy which creates a collegiate environment in what can be a very combative workplace at this level.”

In her capacity as President of the NSW Regional Women Lawyers, Meares has heard from many women – and men – who are especially at risk of social and community alienation as a result of living in low-density, remote towns and spending long hours travelling to meet clients or attend court.

“When NSW Regional Women Lawyers held our conference in Orange, we heard from solicitors who were often the only lawyer in the town, [including] one who was the only lawyer in a 50km radius,” says Meares.

“Being able to have a supportive network of other lawyers is really important to help with feeling lonely and stressed. Building those networks from graduation throughout the lawyer’s career is really important. Regional law societies and young lawyers’ [associations] are a fantastic way of connecting with other lawyers who you can reach out to when times get tough.”

While research in Australia is limited, the findings of US and UK studies indicates the profession requires a more comprehensive approach to addressing feelings of isolation, exhaustion, and loneliness. A 2024 Bloomberg survey of US lawyers found 55 per cent of lawyers are experiencing anxiety, 56 per cent report disrupted sleep, 44 per cent have low energy and concentration, and 25 per cent acknowledged issues in personal relationships. Likewise in the UK, where The Law Society’s 2023 Insights Panel Survey on Mental Health found 37 per cent of solicitors were experiencing burnout and 39 per cent reported “extreme” or “severe” levels of workplace stress.

According to a 2019 study into loneliness and those working in the legal profession, “research indicates the loneliest humans are the young and old, those in poor health, and the highly educated, most notably those in the fields of medicine and law.”

Coping methods often result in further damage to mental and physical health, and may include heavy drinking, lack of work or study, and low income.

In a 2024 article for the Medical Journal of Australia, the authors described loneliness as “one of the most pressing public health concerns in Australia and internationally.”

They differentiated between social isolation, “which is an objective measure of social interactions and relationships”, and loneliness, “a subjective experience where one perceives a discrepancy between desired and actual social relationships in terms of quality or quantity.”

Loneliness and social isolation have substantial impacts on health, productivity, and the economy. In 2021, the total cost of loneliness in Australia was estimated around $2.7 billion (or $1565 for each person who becomes or remains lonely), where older adults aged 55 years or older accounted for more than a third of the costs. Consequences of prolonged or intense loneliness are linked to heart disease and stroke, diabetes, dementia and depression. It can also lead to heightened or excessive stress responses, the fight-or-flight reaction, and obstruct physiological repair and maintenance processes by disrupting or preventing sleep and wound healing.

While research from 2023 indicates that over a quarter, 35 per cent, of those in rural and regional Australia say they experience loneliness, more recent research from youth not-for-profit ReachOut indicates that well over half of young people outside of the urban centres feel lonely. Men experienced less loneliness than women, with 60 per cent of women reporting loneliness and 40 per cent of men.

Those in regional and rural areas were significantly lonelier than urban youth, with 65 per cent of those aged 16 – 25 years reporting loneliness and 55 per cent of urban youth experiencing the same. These numbers differ to the general population, which might point to a worsening of the loneliness epidemic in Australia, or generational differences that will affect young lawyers, and lawyers working with youth and families. Australia’s first State of the Nation Report into Social Connection in 2023 stated that nearly one in three adults (32 per cent) said they were lonely, while one in six (17 per cent) reported severe loneliness.

A more collegial experience

Christina Cavallaro is Special Counsel at Bartier Perry. While Cavallaro hasn’t experienced loneliness, she has found ways within her profession and outside it to remain engaged.

She tells LSJ Online, “I’ve been fortunate to not have personally experienced loneliness in my legal career, and that might be because I’ve worked at private practice firms. I’ve always been surrounded by really supportive teams and colleagues that genuinely care, and I’ve made friends with my with my colleagues. I’ve always felt really well supported.”

When it comes to the common experience of loneliness in lawyers, she says, “I’m not surprised, given it is obviously a high-pressure environment involving long hours and individual billable hours and targets are prioritised. I also think that in a profession that still prizes composure, resilience and capability, there is probably an unspoken fear or stigma to admitting that you’re lonely because you don’t want that to be perceived as a weakness or a performance issue.

“So, there might be a reluctance for people to speak out because they worry that will make them look less committed or less capable of a lawyer than others. It may not even be your boss that you talk to. It takes a lot of courage and vulnerability to say to your social circles that you’re lonely. Just because you’re surrounded by people doesn’t mean you’re not lonely.” 

Cavallaro says that even though lawyers are trained to be independent problem solvers, she makes it her practice to check in with people, not through grand gestures, but just asking “how are you?”

She also prioritises catching up for a coffee, small acts of thoughtfulness, and letting her colleagues know that she’s open to informal chats.

“There are supports within our firm and there are also services available through the Law Society that I’d be confident referring people to,” she says.

Cavallaro says, “I’ve found a lot of value in staying engaged in activities outside of work, as well as in professional networks. I’m the President of Ladies Insolvency Professionals and we have regular event to bring women together and help them to build relationships with other women who might be feeling isolated at different points in their career. We assure them that they’re not alone. I’m also part of a book club and I do 6am boot camp, so I see the same people regularly and we’re able to build those connections. I do think those community groups are really valuable.”

The Law Society of NSW is here to help

The Law Society’s Solicitor Outreach Service (SOS) provides confidential psychological support, including up to three counselling sessions per financial year and 24/7 crisis support. This service is delivered by a third-party provider, PeopleSense by Altius, and is accessible by calling 1800 592 296.

Find further resources for mental health support and contact details for those services (phone and online) are available here.